Reflection

I haven't written a blog post in over a year! I was encouraged to get back into it so here I am. Maybe this will help me as I think about my art practice. Now that I'm on summer break, I have more time to think about my own art, creative process, and inspiration. Throughout the school year I'm bogged down with creative ideas for my students, managing classrooms, and everything else that comes from teaching 6-12th graders.

I had an ah-ha moment last night of what I wanted to write about.

In graduate school, not only did we have a final exhibition where we all hung our work for the Annual Student Exhibition, but we had to write a thesis paper, which I believe had to be 25 pages minimum. My thesis was called "What I'm Thinking When I'm Not Talking" - it was a two part thesis (Part One was called "My Gaze" and Part Two was called "The Female Gaze"). Part One was more diaristic. I wrote an inner monologue that I was having while painting 4 different pieces. The struggles, successes, choices, emotional turmoil, etc. It was like a stream of consciousness diary entry. My thesis advisor really appreciated it. I think it allowed him to understand more about my decisions as I was painting. Throughout these diary entries, I wrote about different artists who were inspiring my decisions such as: Katherine Bradford, the Group of 7 Canadian Painters, and Aubrey Levinthal.

What I love about Katherine Bradford is her fun and brilliant colors, loose and quirky interpretations of the figure, featureless faces, flattened perspective...(see some of her work below)

"Swimmer at Dusk"

"Swimmers and a Hill House"

"Fathers"

What I love about the Group of 7 Canadian Painters is that they had so much fun painting rocks! Yes rocks can be "grey", but as I was painting rocks at PAFA, I would see blues, maroons, purples...I wanted to make each shadow unique...its own color world. Just like they did. See some of the Group of 7 Paintings Below

J.E.H. MacDonald, "Falls, Montreal River"

Franklin Carmichael, "Mirror Lake"

Frederick Varley, "Stormy Weather, Georgian Bay"

With Aubrey Levinthal, there was an introspection, a peacefulness, and a psychological state that made viewers look and reflect on their own sense of the passage of time or identity. Also, she captures the beauty in the small, quiet moments of life. I saw some of her work in Chelsea while I was in school. Her brushstrokes and color choices inspired my work in grad school.

Aubrey Levinthal, "Sunbeam"

Aubrey Levinthal, "Mirror With Curtain"

"Grey and Light", Aubrey Levinthal

My thesis reader, Scott Noel, wrote many comments about these diary entries that referenced these artists. He said what was unique about these artists was that they had developed their own painting language. A way in which they approach a painting that makes it cohesive. There I was trying to pull a few ingredients from this person, a few from another. But if you're trying to make a recipe and pulling ideas from multiple recipes, sometimes it might not turn out great. How do you make it work and how do you make it your own? I graduated back in 2023. While I've struggled with being a prolific painter, I have probably cranked out 18 pieces in the past 3 years. That's not awful, but not ideal. These pieces are much different than the work I did in graduate school. I've gone back to doing more landscape pieces like I did prior to grad school. However, these pieces are different than the ones that I did before. They're looser, more whimsical like Kathryn Bradford. The color choices are bolder like Bradford's and the Group of 7. Perhaps there is an introspection and quietness to them that Aubrey accomplishes. I joke that I think I became more confused about my work and less sure of myself in school. I was constantly being critiqued which made me insecure and defensive. I was trying to please each individual professor which is hard when they are suggesting conflicting ideas. I did not love my final exhibition of work.

I do realize, even if my final exhibition wasn't my favorite work, my professors challenged me in a way that is important as an artist. You should be pushed to think outside of your comfort zone. To make creative risks and trust your intuition. What do you naturally do as an artist that others don't? What artists excite you? Also, I was told to have more confidence haha. Still a work in progress.

Now that I'm not trying to please a specific audience like my professors, I'm simply making work that excites me. My ah ha moment: I've been making work that incorporates these three artists work. And I think this language I've made is cohesive. These are pieces I've made in the last three years that incorporate what I was admiring back at PAFA.

"You Must Become an Island"

"Backyard Gardening"

"Dive in the Empty Ocean"

"Darkness to Light"

"Eleanor"

"Cross Island Pastels"

"Docking at Grindstone"

"Riverside Dream"

I don't think I could have made this work without being challenged at PAFA. Perhaps, while I did receive recognition for my work before school, I should be grateful for this voice I've developed. It's my own and it will continue to grow as I continue making.

I'm really proud of this work, which wasn't happening a few years ago. I have 7 more weeks before the school years starts. Hopefully I can dedicate more time to my practice.

This summer, I'v been spending time along the St. Lawrence River in the 1000 Islands (often the subject matter of my work). This is where I feel at peace. I feel like I can think again here.

I've been trying to not listen to music while I'm up here. Just listen to the sounds of the lapping waves, wind in the trees, birds, and all other species existing. However, for the sake of consistency of ending each blog post with a song, here is a song I've enjoyed listening to this summer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA_5sLaTErQ